sweet surrender..
For the first time in quite a while, I attended service alone. It was a good thing – a refreshing experience, somewhat something of a revelation even. :) You see, the past few weeks had me running around headless and distracted..
Last night, sitting alone in my favorite area (near the stage but not directly in front, close enough to see the screen and near the TV just so I wouldn’t have to squint), it was so liberating to have that kind of focus.. No distractions. :)
I needed that time, by myself, to REALLY listen to what God had to say. After the service, it became clear. All the while I’ve been running around headless and lost, He’s been waving every flag and doing every song and dance number imaginable to call my attention: FOCUS ON ME!!
I realized that I wouldn’t have been such a mess if I had just been STILL and focused on Him. But you see, hyperactive little girls (or perhaps the more apt ‘energetic young ladies’) like me find it hard to do just that. It’s like I keep telling God “I surrender.. But not really. Can I keep this part?” No, none of that anymore..
One thing I am resolved to do is to get rid of one MAJOR distraction, one that is too personal to write in this blog entry. ;) Hahaha! Think of it this way: I am more affected by this that I’ve ever cared to admit. Silly girl! As if naman God didn’t already know heart, my thoughts. He knew them before I did. And now I surrender that distraction to Him as well.
My favorite psalm says it all: “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely..” (Psalm139:1-4) Eep. What on earth was I thinking?!
So here’s to saying “goodnight and go!” Here’s to purifying my heart, and letting God take control..
-------------------------------------------------
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.”
-Psalm73:25
Last night, sitting alone in my favorite area (near the stage but not directly in front, close enough to see the screen and near the TV just so I wouldn’t have to squint), it was so liberating to have that kind of focus.. No distractions. :)
I needed that time, by myself, to REALLY listen to what God had to say. After the service, it became clear. All the while I’ve been running around headless and lost, He’s been waving every flag and doing every song and dance number imaginable to call my attention: FOCUS ON ME!!
I realized that I wouldn’t have been such a mess if I had just been STILL and focused on Him. But you see, hyperactive little girls (or perhaps the more apt ‘energetic young ladies’) like me find it hard to do just that. It’s like I keep telling God “I surrender.. But not really. Can I keep this part?” No, none of that anymore..
One thing I am resolved to do is to get rid of one MAJOR distraction, one that is too personal to write in this blog entry. ;) Hahaha! Think of it this way: I am more affected by this that I’ve ever cared to admit. Silly girl! As if naman God didn’t already know heart, my thoughts. He knew them before I did. And now I surrender that distraction to Him as well.
My favorite psalm says it all: “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely..” (Psalm139:1-4) Eep. What on earth was I thinking?!
So here’s to saying “goodnight and go!” Here’s to purifying my heart, and letting God take control..
-------------------------------------------------
“Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.”
-Psalm73:25
posted by dystopian dreamland @ 7:32 AM
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